Written by: PiphISBehaving
Hello!
Another claims-taker of the united Internet world here to throw my nickel in the bucket. In a year or twenty perhaps we’ll see how much change we’ve made!
By passionate definition I’m a full-time single mother, a full-time Sociology student, an in-kind legal assistant, and a community project volunteer. I thrive in the psychological aspects of living: the senses, relationships, ideas & perceptions, environment, structure and world placement. My eyes have recently been opened to view a world where approx half the population moves through it with their eyes wide shut.
I’ll tell you now that I see red, and NOT through misshapen rosey colored lenses.
Eight years ago I was a clueless, voiceless housewife, i.e., covertly and overtly domestically victimized in many ways by a man twice my size. I allowed myself to be driven to the point where I thought I was the crazy one, the stupid one. He was a paralegal in the US Army, a mental skill often used as a weapon and was also highly effective in field combat. Conciously weighing the level of danger, I stayed beyond the breaking point, until he more or less agreed to let me go. The divorce was supposed to be a reasonably uncontested filing of paperwork. Three weeks later my best friend was dead. He said it was an accident and was acquitted after supressing certain testimony. One year later he gave no grounds yet was awarded unsupervised visitation despite my best pro se efforts to keep supervision in place. In fact, the judge refused to hear my arguments. This aftermath, along with the past, has become the catalyst of today; maneuvering through the barriers of the good ol’ boy system of Appalachia and keeping in close with others on the same team.
You can argue my opinions. You can argue my assumptions. But those things not debatable are the facts. The prime majority of the states’ Family Court systems have adopted the “best interest of the child” model for deciding cases: “Physical, mental, moral and emotional health of the child SHALL determine…” However, too many instances exist where the abusive parent manages to distract the court away from the sake of the child, to the sake of the [abusive] parent’s rights. The parent attempting to enforce the child’s true rights is frequently caught in the dilema of breaking out of an unhealthy dynamic – where their abuser has systematically controlled them for an extensive period — and simultaneously trying not to forsake the child for the sake of Solomon. The solution is simple in context: Educate the Courts; Save the children.
Unfortunately this requires unravelling the Patriarchs’ longwithstanding bias favoring the ideals of the very Men’s Groups which perpetuate the dynamic.
Yes, I am too “behaving” like a “good girl”. I aim to make a lot of people uncomfortable. No, I won’t cry. No, I won’t shut up. Deal with it.
