Date Rape Cases Still Hard to Win
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27825997/
You know what’s depressing to me about this, aside from the basic stats quoted in the article?
How little our society understands the myriad ways in which victims of violence react to assault. Whether it’s date rape or violence at the hands of our partners, there’s a script we’re apparently supposed to follow, and even then we have very little chance of actually being believed.
We’re expected to whimper and cry and shake and act helpless. Only if we act like helpless wretches will the justice system or society as a whole believe that we were victims of violence.
Many of the victims discussed in this article were highly composed during the trial. They were lucid and intelligent. And for that, they were NOT believed.
How screwed up is THAT?
How is it that society is unable to grasp that a LOT of the time, the NATURAL reaction one has to being assaulted, abused, raped, or violated is ANGER?
I know I always felt WHITE HOT RAGE when my ex-husband abused me. But my clueless attorney told me once that the reason he wouldn’t push the abuse issue was because I didn’t present as a typical victim.
WhatEVER the hell THAT’S supposed to be.
My composure, my education, my drive and work ethic were ALL held against me, all while my ex-husband parades around all hang-dog, claiming I ABUSED HIM.
EXCUSE ME? Was I the one that browbeat him for hours? Tackled HIM and assaulted HIM in front of my son? Used HIS dysfunctional family against HIM?
And he has the nerve to call me abusive because I was ANGRY about being abused. He had the NERVE to claim that I wasn’t really abused because I struggled THROUGH that nightmare and REBUILT my life.
How fucked up is that? I’ll ask again.
But because I didn’t “look like a victim” not even my own LAWYER would help me.
My lawyer told me that even though I may have “battered womens syndrome” whatever the hell that means, just to get over it, the divorce is over and it’s done. He doesn’t understand, nor does anyone really, that the abuser feels he really has control at this point, and the emotional and psychological abuse kicks up, and never ends.
Take care…
I always say, if you dont have semen running down your leg, torn panties, and a bruised body, then they won’t believe you.
My lawyer told me not to bring up the abuse, because it would do me more harm than good. He told me I need to get over it, which is really hard, when I keep being dragged through court against my will, but yet I can’t tell me story, or explain my actions.
Peace to you. And thanks for the article link–it lead me to some other good stuff.
I know what you mean. I have run the gamut of how I should react and nothing is ever good enough in their eyes, so therefore I am not a victim. I was even told by a judge that since my now ex was abusive before I became pregnant that I should just deal with it – I am stuck with him until our child ages out. How screwed up is that?